A few hours after I was born – six weeks early and weighing in at a tiny 4 pounds 2 ounces – my dad was told that I would need to wear something from the hospital cupboard, as none of the clothes that my parents had brought with them were small enough for me. My dad replied that if whatever she brought back wasn’t red and white then I wasn’t going to be wearing it, such was the lack of choice that I had in choosing a football team to spend the rest of my life supporting (/being tortured by).